My New Roommates.. My Grandparents

During my commute the past couple of days I have found myself in deep thought about what these last 7 months have meant to me…. I can’t believe it’s come to an end . The fact is, tonight is the last night I will be living with my Grandparents and I will be moving into Manhattan, tomorrow, November 1st. Though I’m really excited to move into the city and eliminate my 90 minute commute (each way), I find myself getting alittle emotional. To say this experience was great would be an understatement. Aside from being spoiled with free rent, all my meals cooked, and all my laundry done for me, I learned more than any class I took In College. I’ll take these memories with me for the rest my life.

These are not only the best grandparents anyone could ever have. These are not only the best friends anyone could ever have. But these are the best roommates anyone could ever have and as Craigslist can attest that’s not an easy thing to find.

I was given laughter on a daily basis, daily entertainment (I heard “that’s what she said more times than I count”), and more importantly I was given a behind  scenes look at an incredible marriage where even moments of arguments would lead to the 2 laughing.

No matter what time I would come home my Grandpa, and most times my Grandma, would wait up just to hear about my day.

I would find myself in euphoric states over the littlest of things.  Such as my Grandpa and I stretching 10 minutes together before bed, or when he knock on my bedroom door just to moon me or even just teaching them both how to use the iPhone and iPad.

I grew up 30 minutes from my grandparents and was always extremely fond of them. However, we grew so much closer and learned more about each other in these 7 month  then I did the first 27 years of my life.

I learned that my Grandpa and I connect on so many levels. I developed a relationship where I now consider him to be my best friend. Days during the work week, I would come around 9 and I always knew my Grandpa would either be at the head of the dinner table or the chair in front of the TV. This then proceeded to endless conversation about anything and everything which would then lead to not getting to sleep on time. Though there is a large gap in our age, we always seem to be on the same page when it came to conversation.

I learned that war truly changes a man. My Grandfather was sent to Normandy when he was 18 years old, neared death a handful of times, fought in the Battle of the Bulge, slept in the freezing cold outside for a large portion of his service while being shelled relentlessly. Then, 50 years later, he was finally recognized for his heroism and was awarded the Bronze Star. But still many years later, 95% of the books he reads are about World War II. The Military Channel is usually on and even though his memory isn’t the best … recollections of  WWII are as clear as day to him. I could almost guarantee not a minute goes by he doesn’t think about it… war truly changes man.

By 18 my grandfather had blown up a Nazi tank. Important to note: By the age of 18 the only thing I’d done is learned how many bong rips I could do before passing out out on my front lawn.

 And MY GRANDMA……..

I learned that Grandma is the rock of their marriage. You don’t know the word patience until you’ve met my Grandmother. She is always there for my Grandpa… sometimes too much. To say that my Grandpa is a handful is an understatement. For example, my Grandpa would be sitting literally in front of the TV and he would yell “Marilyn, turn off the TV!” … She would be in the kitchen, and sometimes, she would just walk over, without saying anything and turn off the TV. She is the most emotionally stable human being, and  genuinely the nicest person I have come across . She never gossips; only points the good in everyone.

I learned that you should live life with no regrets. Though it’s common to hear , it never resonated more than just listening to my Grandparents stories. They never said to  “live life with no regrets” , but every story they told, never once hinted or reflected back on life with regrets.

I learned how important it is to take care of yourself; eat healthy, workout, and work on being a peace with everything. You are only given one body so take care of it mentally and physically.  My Grandpa is 88 and still plays Tennis. My Grandma, 85,  goes to water aerobics 5 days a week at the JCC. If I make it to their ages, I hope I can still be active because I hate doing puzzles. O yea, and good news, its ok to drink 6 days a week because my Grandpa is doing just fine #Vodka4life

I learned from a relationship/marriage perspective you should never settle. It needs to 100% right. If it’s only 80%, it’s not right. If it’s your life partner, you need to expect and accept each other’s flaws. As my Grandma would say to my Grandpa “I can tolerate you but I have my limits.”

The list goes on.

The fact is change is inevitable  like the weather,  something’s are uncontrollable and  for the most part, we accept it; it’s life. However, I have trouble coming to grips that my grandparents will not be around the rest of my life. It’s too painful to comprehend but that being said. This moment and for the past 7 months I can say I lived my life with no regrets.

Thank you all to who followed my blog. I hope you enjoyed it. Onto the next chapter !

Last night:

Grandpa: “How tall are you?”

Me: “5’10.. 5’11.”

Grandpa: ” I didn’t know they packed shit that high.”

My Grandparents always says “getting old isn’t for sissys.” As we all know aches and pains become more of a commonplace for the elderly. Though my grandparents do water aerobics together every morning (my Grandpa says he only goes cause he is the only guy amongst 30 women) and my Grandpa plays tennis quite often, is still comes at price.

So lately my Grandpa has been getting ‘charlie horses’ in his quads. Last week we were watching ‘Dancing with the Stars’, my grandparent’s favorite show. I have to note, while my Grandpa watches in the living room, my Grandma does the dishes and sings/dances to the songs in the kitchen. Ironically enough my Grandpa – the one lounging on the couch, while the other does the foxtrot and all the housework, gets another one of his frequent Charlie horses. This pain is always followed by him yelling my name which means “come massage my quads my grandson/masseuse.” During this already arduous process he moans very loudly. I mean these are uncomfortable noises to hear any grown man make but especially when it’s your grandfather and double especially when you have your hand stroking his inner thigh. Of course I’m happy to help though because like everything else this man does it’s endearing more than anything else. As this commotion and yelping carries on my Grandma yells from the kitchen “wow he has never made those noises for me.”

I was watching 60 minutes with my Grandparents on Sunday when a Cialis commercial comes on . As always, the last thing they mention are potential side effects. This one ended with “If you have an erection lasting over 36 hours call a doctor.” My Grandpa responds, “No. Call a hooker!” Grandma quickly shoots back “dont call me!”

After a night at the gym I walked into my grandparents home and  saw my grandma in the kitchen and greeted her as always with a warm hello.  It was odd not to see my grandpa in the same place as I have everytime I walk in the house  (sitting in a chair three feet from the TV) Curiously, I asked my grandma where he was.

My grandma replied, “he had a little too much to drink….he is sleeping on a chair downstairs.” I asked her “why?.  She replied, “well Ben, while I was making dinner I asked if grandpa if would be so kind to make me a margarita. He did comply and then proceeded to drink the whole batch by himself- now he is passed out downstairs.”

 The funny thing is not even so much that he made something for her and then proceeded to drink it and finally passed out…. It’s the way my grandma explained it. Her tone of voice was equivalent to a response to a common question such as “where I can find a roll of paper towels in the house?”… there was no defeat in my grandma’s voice and she made it seem as though this has happened a million times before.

 My grandma had accepted the fact that she had a request that wasn’t fulfilled and now, after putting together dinner for three hours, he is sleeping. Patience is my grandma. My grandma is patience.

My Grandpa got an IPad for his birthday and he is starting to get the hang of it. When he first got it, it was a struggle to teach how to unlock the Ipad by just sliding the unlock button… he has come a longggg way.

When I came back from NYC Saturday morning my Grandpa had a pretty bad cold/fever. But per usual, he wanted to tell me funny story. I told him to hold that thought and let’s get my brother Jon on FaceTime. We connect with Jon, he tells the story, then my Grandfather begins to tell my brother that he has a cold/fever.

Grandpa: “Im sick kid, got this damn cold that wont go away”

Jon: “Sorry to hear that Grandpa, but it’s funny that you said that … I was just watching the news and there was a story about all these young good looking women in North Jersey getting the cold… did you have anything to do with that?”

Grandpa: “No chance cause I wore a condom”

Living with my grandparents in West Orange NJ, commuting 90 minutes to work each way then going to the gym in Montclair, NJ after work has left me very little room for me to socialize. Granted, I have a lot of friends that live in the NYC area, it’s just making the time for them has been a struggle.

So in an effort to enhance  my social scene, I decided to sign up for a Coed Flag Football league. I had my first game Sunday and my Grandfather decided to come for the ride.

Our first game was against in all Asian team that destroyed us 42 – 0. When our QB for our team decided he couldn’t get the job done, they put me in at Quarterback. My first pass was an interception/pick 6 to a girl…. At least I completed the pass.

I came out back to the sidelines and my Grandpa said to me, a little too loudly, “Damn these Chinamen are GOOD!” I responded back “SHHH Grandpa, you can’t say that stuff.”

I wonder sometimes if he never had a filter or he just gave up on using his filter and decided you don’t need one when you get to the age of 88.